Valentine’s Day is fast approaching and as usual, many will receive beautiful flowers, read hand-picked loving cards, may drink a glass of a favorite wine, and receive red heart-shaped boxes of chocolates! Flower shops will be rushed to keep up with the orders. Walmart will run out of candy, and that special red wine will be hard to find. Those who wait until the last minute will end up at Walgreens or some other drugstore so as not to show up empty handed. The last thing one wants to do on this one day is to cause disappointment or make someone feel unappreciated or overlooked.
The traditional Valentine’s Day, that one day out of the year, has caused me to pause for thought: What if every day was treated like Valentine’s Day? Meaning we would show or acknowledge our love every day. What if we moved beyond the flowers and the other trappings that we see on Valentine’s Day? It has been said, that this one small phrase, “I love you,” is one of the most misunderstood phrases in the English language! I know that may be hard to believe, but I tend to agree. Let’s take a look at these three words, “I- love -you.”
SUBJECTIVE: The words, “I love you” are subjective. It means different things to different people. Do you love someone or are you IN love with someone? Loving someone and being in love with someone are two entirely different emotions. What if the person with whom you are speaking can’t distinguish the difference between these two phrases? If not, now we have a problem. How would you handle not receiving the response you were expecting once you spoke these three words to someone? Okay, that’s another blog topic.
MANIPULATIVE: The words, “I love you” can be used to manipulate. A person may have a motive for saying these three words—“I love you.” I have had one or two individuals to say to me, “I love you,” and my response was, “Okay, what do you want?” 😂
CONTEXT: What is actually going on when these words are spoken? What is the context in which the words are said? In my former position of working with student teachers, I would always ask them the following question: “Why do you want to teach?” The response was often, “I want to teach because I love children.” This led to a lengthy discussion of what loving children actually entailed. At the conclusion of the discussion, the prospective teachers all agreed that at the end of the school day, they loved students enough to put them on the school bus to go home!
So, what can we do to show love without shopping for flowers, chocolates, and cards at the last minute? Here are few of my suggestions on how we could actually make this change:
1. Share or visit experiences of when you first met that special person.
2. Invite friends and family over to celebrate all kinds of love.
3. Explore something new like visiting a restaurant in a different city.
4. Write a heartfelt letter to loved ones or to that special someone.
5. Take a workshop or class together—art, music, dance.
6. Remember to demonstrate love to family members—children, parents, grandparents, etc.
7. Share the LOVE EVERYDAY!
8. Spending quality time together can often outweigh material gifts.
Remember, love is a verb. It is shown every day, not just on February 14th.
Think about what will happen on February 15th, the day after Valentine’s Day
and each day thereafter, as it relates to these three words, “I LOVE YOU.”
Will you still be showing the love? I hope you will.
One in love and music,
June
/june-montgomery/images/June_Montgomerylogo.png)